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Friday, February 26, 2016

Dutch Moms around the World: Esther from the United States. – ChicagoNow (blog)

Dutch Alien Lands in the U.S.

Dutch Moms around the World: Esther from the United States.


By Annemarie Verweij, today at 9:36 am

This series will give you a peek into the life of Dutch Moms around the World. I will ask them all 10 questions, that will give you a better view on what life as a Dutch Mom abroad is like. The moms will share some pictures and give you some advice in case you would like to move to another country too.

Q & A with Esther Meester

Esther lives in California for almost 16 years now. She started with a year in San Jose and right now she lives in the Santa Cruz area, in Aptos for 15 years. She lives 5 minutes away from the beach (by bicycle), next to The Forest of Nisene Marks and a 10 minute drive away from Santa Cruz. She lives close to the Pacific, in Monterey Bay, near the Monterey Bay National Marine Sanctuary. On a regular basis, she can see dolphins, whales and seals swim in the ocean. She works 2 part-time jobs and teaches Dutch and German. She is very happily divorced, has three children (Amber aged 18, Jade, almost 13 and Jody 11), who live with her every other week. She lives together with Eric for three years now, and she describes him as ‘the most wonderful and handsome man that she is totally crazy about’.
Esther!

Esther!

1. In which country do you live and why did you choose that country? Did you choose a specific place or area to move to? Why did you move there? When did you move there from the Netherlands?

I live in Aptos, CA, a small village close to Santa Cruz. We have chosen this village, because I just couldn’t get used to living in San Jose (Silicon Valley). Aptos / Soquel was a very cute village. I met my American husband (who happily is my ex, since 5 years)in Spakenburg, the Netherlands. He was the reason I went to the United States. Together with my daughter Amber I was shopping at Kruidvat (Dutch store), to buy some groceries for my grandma, and I had to wait in line for a very annoying American. He wanted eye drops, but the cashier didn’t get him. So, I started to interfere, because I was done waiting for so long with only two boxes of ‘potters’ (Dutch candy) for my grandma. The American was on a business trip in the Netherlands and a business partner lived in Spakenburg. I helped him get the eye drops, paid for the potters and wanted to jump on my bike.

The American was waiting outside and he wanted to thank me for the help. I told him ‘You’re welcome’. He wanted to chat for a while and we exchanged e-mail addresses. The adventure started. I had my own travel agency at the time and I was traveling the whole wide world except for the United States. The United States just didn’t seem appealing to me. A trip lay ahead of me. After 6 months I moved to the United States, together with Amber en we started a brand-new life.

2. What does an average day, as a Dutch mom in the country that you live in look like? Please describe your own average day.  

If I have the kids, my alarm will go off at 6:30am, I shower, have breakfast and prepare lunch. After that I wake up the kids and at 7:30am we are in the car. I am driving to three different schools at the moment, so that takes a while. At about 8:15am I am done bringing my last child to school and I go off to work. On Monday and Friday I work at the office of a psychiatrist, documenting medical bills, courthouse evaluations and behavioral assessments.

From Tuesday until Thursday, during the mornings, I work at a church. I am taking care of everything that is business related for them. At about 2 pm I leave to pick up Jade around 2:30 pm, Amber at 2:45 pm and Jody at 3 pm. After that we go home, they do their homework, drink a cup of tea, go to soccer, cooking, etc.

During the week that I don’t have the kids I work longer days, because I don’t have to pick them up. I can schedule my own hours, as long as the work gets done. On Sunday morning I teach German to two girls and the hour after that I teach Dutch to their older sister. I have been teaching her Dutch for over 5 years now. She has Dutch as her second language in college. At Tuesday afternoon I tutor an American girl, who has a Dutch father. She wants to improve her Dutch. During the weekend we are usually on the road for soccer (Jody plays soccer for the San Jose Earthquakes), we visit friends, go to the beach, the forest, skiing or we just stay at home, relaxing on the couch.
Esther's three kids.

Esther’s three kids.

3. What do you miss when you think about the Netherlands? Why do you miss that?

That depends on the moment, this morning I was driving to work in my car and I was listening to a Dutch song from the band ‘Doe maar’ on my IPod. I started crying, over nothing. Then I know I am homesick. I don’t have a lot of contact with my family ( due to circumstances) so I don’t really miss them. The only connection I still had with the Netherlands was my grandma, and she passed away 6 months ago. I mainly miss my friends, just going there for a visit. We have more contact now, then when I lived in the Netherlands. I miss the summers, the long days, biking after dinner and drinking a cup of coffee or a shot with friends or a family member.

I don’t really miss the dark days, despite the fact that I do really miss the ‘Zuidwester storm’! (To get what that is, you can watch the video below).

I also miss skating on natural ice!!! I don’t really miss the food, because there’s a great store in Oregon where we have been several times (Eric’s kids live there), every month I buy my Dutch groceries at that store. I do still miss a ‘frikandel speciaal’, ‘broodje kroket’, ‘patatje oorlog’, ‘Hema tompouce’, a ‘Parijse bol from the local Spakenburgse bakery’, ‘kibbeling’, ‘gerookte paling’ or a nice ‘stewed fish’, ‘Hema rookworst’.  (These are all typical Dutch fooditems). I just really miss the Hema I think!! And the Dutch fashion, even for the kids.

4. Are there things you don’t miss at all when you think about the Netherlands? Why?

I feel more liberated here than in the Netherlands, I can’t really explain it. I think it mainly has to do with family and with the way I was raised. I was born in a very traditional, religious village, with a lot of prejudicies. I have always felt different, I had a hard time dealing with that. The birthdays while sitting in a circle with cake and coffee to start with, after that the (alcoholic) drinks and the ‘borrelnootjes’ (I do miss them. Dutch snack), and then ‘frikandel’ or ‘bitterbal’. I don’t really miss them.

I really don’t miss the narrowness, but that is my experience, because of my background. If I would have grown up in Amsterdam that would have been different. despite the fact that American people are way more prude, life is different around here, it’s not like I have to put endive with meatballs on the table at 6 pm sharp.

5. If you look at the school system in your country, how does it compare to the Dutch school system? What are (dis)advantages? 

I don’t have any experience with the Dutch schoolsystem, because Amber wasn’t even two yet when we moved to the United States. I have always been very active at school, this is my 13th year at Main Street Elementary School. It’s Jody’s last year and I have to admit that the time has come that the somewhat younger moms take over. I was at least three days a week for a few hours at school, there’s always someone that can use your help. I can’t really give my opinion about this.

I do notice that the education is very focused on the United States itself and not really at the world. There are several examples that I sometimes mention and then the kids look at me as if there’s water burning. I regret that, the education in the Netherlands seems to broaden the horizon more than seems the be the case in the United States (for example when it comes to history).
Esther and her husband Eric.

Esther and Eric.

6. How did YOUR life change when you moved? What are the differences compared to your life in the Netherlands? Were these choices you made, or were these differences decided for you (by a company, by the visa that you have, by the different circumstances)? How do you feel about these changes?

My life used to be very chaotic, when I moved here I still owned a house and a company in the Netherlands. After 9/11 I sold my company, it was my dream, but I had to let it go. Life is so different around here, the mentality of the people, the traffic, de stores, for weeks I didn’t want to buy milk and bread, because the expiration date was still so numerous days away.

I have a greencard, they ask me all the time why I don’t apply for American Citizenship, but I don’t feel like an American, I still am a Dutch woman. The only difference would be that I would be able to vote. I would love to vote for Bernie this year, but that simply isn’t possible. I do have all the rights and obligations, just as an American citizen. All three of my kids are Dutch, my two youngest have dual citizenship. If Amber wants to become American, it’s her choice, she is an ‘adult’ right now.

7. What is happening in the country that you live in, that worries you? Why does this worry you? Is there anything you do to solve this?  

Phew…that’s hard to describe. It worries me that the health insurance is almost unpayable. If you do have the financial resources, there’s hope that you get financial aide. There are a lot of veterans in this country, who gave up everything in order to be able to pay for their medical bills. They got wounds during their time defending their country, but a lot of them are homeless now and people look down on them.

The court system, here in California worries me, if you talk about family law. Unfortunately I had to experience that myself.

Donald Trump worries me, what he says and does is ridiculous.

Life here in CA (Silicon Valley) is expensive. My daughters and I help out at a homeless shelter, twice a month. We cook and play games. The stories they tell you are very sad. A lot of the people over there used to have a great job, but because of all kinds of reasons they ended up at the shelter. One of them told me she is a lawyer, she has two kids. They sleep at the shelter, because her daughter got cancer. They were properly insured, but their co-pay was so high, they had to sell their house. Her husband left her and there she was. She does still have her job, but because of the debts at the insurance company she can’t get a brand-new home, everyone rejects her. The world is so unfair and this is just one example of what people have told me.

8. What habits have you taken with you from the Netherlands? And which ones have you integrated from your brand-new country? Why (those habits)? Which ones do you on purpose NOT use? Have these habits learned you something? If so, what?   

Baking ‘oliebollen’ (Dutch snack) at brand-new Years Eve, baking pancakes for dinner when the kids celebrate their birthday, ‘hagelslag’ (chocolate sprinkles) on our bread, ‘tosties’ (toasted sandwich with ham and cheese), ‘nasi’ with ‘kroepoek’, always eat together at the table during breakfast and dinner. There’s no ‘may I be excused?’ at the table, they just wait. Soccer (or ‘voetbal’) fever, I have a lot of orange things: the flag, clothing and bells and whistles.

If there’s a birthday party, we immediately open up the presents, we don’t leave them standing on the table. We eat hard-boiled eggs on the first Easter Day (we have two of them in the Netherlands), celebrate Saint Nick by putting our shoe near a chimney and writing poems and creating surprises on December 5th.

I still give people three kisses, make a ‘muisje’ (even I’ve never heard about that) mash potatoes, gravy and vegetables together. We do celebrate the 4th of July with a big BBQ with hotdogs and burgers. We cut down the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving and so it’s already standing there during the celebration of Saint Nick.

I only buy stuff when I have money, I don’t want any credits or debts. I really had to get used to that in the beginning. Oh, and those gigantic tv’s they are not allowed in my house!
Cutting the Christmas tree - Esther and her kids.

Cutting the Christmas tree – Esther and her kids.

9. What is your advice for other moms who are thinking about moving to another country? What do they have to think about?  

I was moving unexpectedly, left everything behind, which was, although I was very in love at that time, very impetuous. I do think it depends on the country you move to, if your life will change a lot or not. Sometimes the cultural differences are really big. I thought the United States would not be so different compared to the Netherlands, but that became a disappointment.

Always follow your heart!

10. Is there anything you want to share? A funny situation that you have experienced, a life lesson, a favorite quote?

I asked for a camera with ‘pickles’ instead of ‘pixels’.

I was at a Home Depot to buy ‘barf’ instead of ‘bark’.

I asked my (very handsome) dentist, while I needed root canal treatment ‘You will seduce me, right? You have to!!’ instead of ‘sedate me’. I was so embarrassed! That his wife was his dental assistent didn’t really help either.

Dolphins!

Dolphins!

Thank you so much, Esther. It’s nice to hear your story, because you are also Dutch and we both live in the samen country. People around here always tell me California isn’t the same as the Midwest, because people are much friendlier here. I have no clue, because I haven’t been to California yet.

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Filed under: Amerika, California, Dutch Moms around the World, United States, USA


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